Its All Humor |
| Posted: 09 Nov 2009 12:27 AM PST Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info: Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir? Customer: My what?!! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - Agent verifying info from the customer: Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong? Customer: No, it's B. Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Agent answering a call: Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer). Customer: So, I called the wrong number then? Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please dont go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Agent wrapping up the sale: Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules... Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me? Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Agent getting coupon code from customer: Agent: Can I ask for the coupon code? It's a bunch of letters. Customers: Like ABCs? Agent: Yes. Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------- Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion: Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me? Customer: Say, what? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Agent trying to upsell a warranty: Agent: Here's an example: In California, a plane crashed into a customer's house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------ Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer: Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer? Customer: What? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Agent verifying correct spelling: Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo? Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns) Customer: Pull out your what now? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard? Customer: What? Could you repeat that? Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Irate Customer: F***k you! Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- Agent: It's C as in CAT. Customer: what? Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf? Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra) Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K. Customer: What is that again? Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K. .. that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly... got it?  |
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