Short Funny Jokes |
| Posted: 15 Feb 2010 07:03 AM PST "See that man over there. He is a bombastic mutt, a windjammer nonentity, a false alarm, and an encumberer of the earth!" "Would you mind writing all that down for me?" "Why in the world—" "He's my husband, and I should like to use it on him some time."  |
| Posted: 15 Feb 2010 07:03 AM PST John Fiske, the historian, was once interrupted by his wife, who complained that their son had been very disrespectful to some neighbors. Mr. Fiske called the youngster into his study. "My boy, is it true that you called Mrs. Jones a fool?" The boy hung his head. "Yes, father." "And did you call Mr. Jones a worse fool?" "Yes, father." Mr. Fiske frowned and pondered for a minute. Then he said: "Well, my son, that is just about the distinction I should make."  |
| Posted: 14 Feb 2010 08:44 PM PST A bereaved husband feeling his loss very keenly found it desirable to divert his mind by traveling abroad. Before his departure, however, he left orders for a tombstone with the inscription: "The light of my life has gone out." Travel brought unexpected and speedy relief, and before the time for his return he had taken another wife. It was then that he remembered the inscription, and thinking it would not be pleasing to his new wife, he wrote to the stone-cutter, asking that he exercise his ingenuity in adapting it to the new conditions. After his return he took his new wife to see the tombstone and found that the inscription had been made to read: "The light of my life has gone out, But I have struck another match."  |
| Posted: 14 Feb 2010 08:43 PM PST A man wished to have something original on his wife's headstone and hit upon, "Lord, she was Thine." He had his own ideas of the size of the letters and the space between words, and gave instructions to the stonemason. The latter carried them out all right, except that he could not get in the "E" in Thine.  |
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