Monday, February 15, 2010

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MORE COMPUTER VIRUSES

Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine

Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer

Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer

Congressional Virus # 1: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem

Congressional Virus # 2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything

Jane Fonda Virus: attacks your hard drive's FAT

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits

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