Thursday, April 1, 2010

Short Funny Jokes

Short Funny Jokes

FUNNY SHORT JOKES FUTURE LIFE

Posted: 01 Apr 2010 04:56 AM PDT

A certain young man's friends thought he was dead, but he was only in a state of coma. When, in ample time to avoid being buried, he showed signs of life, he was asked how it seemed to be dead.

"Dead?" he exclaimed. "I wasn't dead. I knew all that was going on. And I knew I wasn't dead, too, because my feet were cold and I was hungry."

"But how did that fact make you think you were still alive?" asked one of the curious.

"Well, this way; I knew that if I were in heaven I wouldn't be hungry. And if I was in the other place my feet wouldn't be cold."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES FURNITURE

Posted: 01 Apr 2010 04:56 AM PDT

GUEST—"That's a beautiful rug. May I ask how much it cost you?"

HOST—"Five hundred dollars. A hundred and fifty for it and the rest for furniture to match."

JOKE OF THE DAY FRIENDSHIP

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 10:18 PM PDT

The conductor of a western freight train saw a tramp stealing a ride on one of the forward cars. He told the brakeman in the caboose to go up and put the man off at the next stop. When the brakeman approached the tramp, the latter waved a big revolver and told him to keep away.

"Did you get rid of him?" the conductor asked the brakeman, when the train was under motion again.

"I hadn't the heart," was the reply. "He turned out to be an old school friend of mine."

"I'll take care of him," said the conductor, as he started over the tops of the cars.

After the train had made another stop and gone on, the brakeman came into the caboose and said to the conductor:

"Well, is he off?"

"No; he turned out to be an old school friend of mine, too."

Funny Jokes - Hoo is it.......

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 10:17 PM PDT

"Hoo is it, Jeemes, that you mak' sic an enairmous profit aff yer potatoes? Yer price is lower than ony ither in the toon and ye mak' extra reductions for yer freends."

"Weel, ye see, I knock aff twa shillin's a ton beacuse a customer is a freend o' mine, an' then I jist tak' twa hundert-weight aff the ton because I'm a freend o' his."—Punch.

Short Jokes - house furnished.......

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 10:14 PM PDT

"I let my house furnished, and they've had measles there. Of course we've had the place disinfected; so I suppose it's quite safe. What do you think?"

"I fancy it would be all right, dear; but I think, perhaps, it would be safer to lend it to a friend first."—Punch.

SHORT FUNNY JOKES FRIENDSHIP

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 10:13 PM PDT

"Brown volunteered to lend me money."

"Did you take it?"

"No. That sort of friendship is too good to lose."

FUNNY JOKES FRIENDS, SOCIETY OF

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 07:39 AM PDT

A visitor to Philadelphia, unfamiliar with the garb of the Society of Friends, was much interested in two demure and placid Quakeresses who took seats directly behind her in the Broad Street Station. After a few minutes' silence she was somewhat startled to hear a gentle voice inquire: "Sister Kate, will thee go to the counter and have a milk punch on me?"—Carolina Lockhart.

SHORT FUNNY JOKES FRIENDS

Posted: 31 Mar 2010 07:38 AM PDT

"Father."

"Well, what is it?"

"It says here, 'A man is known by the company he keeps.' Is that so, Father?"

"Yes, yes, yes."

"Well, Father, if a good man keeps company with a bad man, is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man, and is the bad man good because he keeps company with the good man?"—Punch.

Posted by Jokes at 7:28 AM

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)